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Christmas 2005

Margaret Bernhart, M.A., LMHC
Executive Director

The manger that once held a babe swaddled in a blanket is empty. The crime scene of a sagging body on a cross stained with blood and mocking graffiti is gone. The stone slab that sealed the burial cave is rolled away. Inside, the body once wrapped in linen graveclothes has vanished. Woven throughout the gospel and our lives is the theme of emptiness.

The disciples, previously filled with fear and despair at this horrific and unsettling tragedy, now see Jesus' words with new meaning and authority as he vanquishes death and appears to his followers over a 40 day period. And just as the disciples begin basking in the glory of heaven meeting earth, the One prophesied for over 2000 years leaves again, baffling his disciples as he is lifted up into the clouds. And as he departs he reminds them of the promise of the Spirit who will reside in those who believe in him as a sign and seal that he will come again.

Certainly, the disciples were in the midst of an emotional train wreck-having experienced twice, the collision of ecstasy and agony. Such turmoil seems unbearable. Each event leaves them with loss, emptiness and a promise.

Our world is no different. Everyday we are confronted with a variety of losses through aging, sickness, death, marriage, divorce, job changes, waning friendships and children leaving the nest. All loss creates space which leads to a greater sense of emptiness which we are powerless to stop. This nagging hollow ache feels like what happens when we fast. Our stomachs growl with hunger to be filled and it feels uncomfortable.

Two common approaches to avoiding this painful sensation are through the use of distraction and control. Since emptiness is intensified through silence and isolation, we often seek distractions through activity, noise, relationships and addictions to drown out the vacuous feelings within.

Another approach is through mastery--seeking to make order out of chaos. It is a godly attribute when we risk and move with greater dependency upon God. However, this is not the case when we control in order not to feel. We can easily slide into activity that gives us a false sense of control: straightening the house, avoiding an argument or fixing another's problem so we don't have to endure the messiness of their struggle. In our age of information we can feel powerful as the master of our domain by turning our cars and homes into technological marvels through wireless laptops and PDA's to smart homes that operate at the touch of a button. Religion can be used in a similar fashion when moralistic living satisfies. Underneath, a subtle arrogance assumes we have avoided the more public sins through our own right living-we've found the way to press the right button to get proper behavior and reduce suffering, not realizing that given the right circumstances, we are capable of all manner of selfishness and evil. Ultimately, arrogance grows insulating us from seeing our deeper self-absorbed motivations that serve to protect us from desperate dependency upon God and the warm embrace of grace.

Loss is an unavoidable reality in the journey God has laid before us. Emptiness stirs hunger and leads us ultimately to a treasure map with a promise. It is a beacon by design to remind us that finding the path to life comes to those who are broken and desperate. One attribute of brokenness is not being shocked by our own or another's capacity to sin. Desperation is a willingness to do whatever it takes to let go of the illusion of control, avoid sticking our head in the sand, and as painful as it maybe, looking at the multifaceted layers of self-centeredness. The glorious truth is that God continues to pursue us even though he knows we choose him as our last resort--after we have sought after easier paths that offer immediate gratification. Like the Prodigal, it is when we return hungry and broken, ready to admit that He is our deepest longing that we find God more richly.

Jesus promised that if we seek, we will find him. Either he is a liar or we will discover what nourishes the deepest space in our souls. And yet the haunting hunger is not completely sated since we would become too cozy here and call earth home. Instead, it is the emptiness that makes us hungry that leads us to our final destination-the embrace of the Father and hearing the words of his great delight in us.

Glory to God in the highest, the Promised One has come and he shall lead us home. Frederick Buechner offers us a prayer that invites Jesus into the deepest space of our souls:

Thou son of the Most High, Prince of Peace, be born again into our world. Wherever there is war in this world, wherever there is pain, wherever there is loneliness, wherever there is no hope, come, thou long-expected one, with healing in thy wings.

Holy child, whom the shepherds and the kings and the dumb beasts adored, be born again. Wherever there is boredom, wherever there is fear of failure, wherever there is temptation too strong to resist, wherever there is bitterness of heart, come, thou blessed one, with healing in thy wings.

Savior, be born in each of us who raises his face to thy face, not knowing fully who he is or who thou art, knowing only that thy love is beyond his knowing and that no other has the power to make him whole. Come, Lord Jesus, to each who longs for thee even though he has forgotten thy name. Come quickly. Amen.

Wishing for each of you that you find more fully your deepest desire.